isolde's

i need to go shopping.
not for myself.
but for my loves faraway.

meet my girl and her wants:



last month, i went out with emrdyl and i bet she'd remember how
i went around video stores asking if they have a copy of
the cheetah girls dvd/vcd.
i had to disappoint the girl when i sent over a speedpost parcel
which included everything but her dvd/vcds.
she's been hinting that i should go check out the stores again
and i really do not wish to shatter her hopes again.

to who ever is reading this:
please tag the board if you happen to know of any store that
has got a copy of the cheetah girls dvd/vcd. (:

meet my boy and (not exactly) his wants:



he adores mr. bean.
i've been reading a few blogs of some mummy-s and
i noticed that my boy's not the only kid who likes mr. bean.
i have this love-hate connection with this character.
love his affection towards his precious teddy.
hate his stupidity, at times.
the boy simply wants to receive something that
bears his name on the box.
i thought of getting him a few
mr. bean the animated series books.
i really would love to please his little heart.

to who ever is reading this:
please tag the board if you happen to know of any store whereby
i can get mr. bean children's books. (:

i found out that as much as i can't wait for them
to come down to singapore,
they're just as excited too.
i heard of their many plans.
whose house to sleepover at, who to sleep with,
what new skills to show off, where to head to etc.
for sure i'll be touring singapore with them.
most important is that emrdyl gets to
meet up with her fellow mini aries.
oh yeah, the girl would like to visit a mosque so
that'll definitely be in our agenda.

to who ever is reading this:
please tag the board if you have any ideas on which
mosque should we visit.
btw, i really wanna impress her coz it's her first time. (:

april 6th.
i can't wait. she can't wait. he can't wait.
we can't wait!

i know they are not reading this but i just wanna declare to everyone that
i miss them so much and i really love them heaps.
they are my sunshine after the rain.
yes, it's raining here in ruzannaville and
all i need is them.

emrdyl's-NOT engagement

As I have confided in Isolde; my weekends were of 2 different colours. But i would rather tell you about the pink one rather than the black one. And the pink one was; it was my deary cousin's Engagement Day. (And how i wished i was the one getting engaged instead. =( )

This time round, I'll let the pixies do the talking. =)

Selamat Bertunang CHITRASARI & MOHD ZAKI.

*all of us slept at 2 the night before. we were busy trying to squeeze our brain juices to come up with last minute creative ideas for her hantarans. this is Kak Ita trying to wrap the ring-box watever thing*

* Kueh-Kuehs & Nasi Ayam Penyet *

*i didnt get to take the whole bed coz not all the gifts were there yet so you can pretty guess the other side was empty. i did that candy basket. tempting? no? weii, i brought it brim full but by the time nakkasi the guy's side dah mendak. anak2 siaper telan eh? hmmmx*

*i got to take pixie with her before she go for her makeover! Look at my face!!!! Macam tak bersemangat eh?? Sigh.*

*diandam oleh her auntie (which makes her my auntie too. haha) this auntie siti is very humorous. really. she is super excited about this whole thing and even practiced placing the ring on my cousin's finger; coz she said "nak tunggu bakal menantu sendiri lamer sangat! haha*

*this is her elder sister; the one who is studing in Melbourne. She's flying back on CNY tho. Anw, look at my oh-so-ugly face AGAIN!! Oh my! Is that really me? :'(
*this is when the guy's side has already arrived and so they were like talking, negotiating blablabla. The only thing that caught my ear was that the DUIT HANTARAN for the wedidng next year(insya-allah) is gonna be like 8880 Singaporean Dollar coz i heard something like lapan ribu lapan lapan ratus lapan watever watever; should be la ha. I suck counting money in Malay. Sigh.*
*Meanwhile, the gorgeous princess-of-the-day is looking so radiant and no doubt; with alot of farfallas in her stomach! haha.*

*And at last, the Engagement took place. Syukur Alhamdulillah; may you guys have many2 happy days in your life together before being united as Man & Wife; Insya-allah*

Okae, so that was the pink lovely side of my weekends. As what my mummy says, kepader semuer anak2 dara yang tengah bacer blog ni, semoger pintu hati dan naluri kewanitaanmu semuer akan terbuka untuk berrumahtangger satu hari nanti.

(CHEY CHEY. GATAL DIER EH!!! SUKER EH!! tsk!)

emrdyl's

Just an hour ago i have typed a super long angry entry. But i guess Mr. BloggerMonster didn't want me to look like a big bad bitch over here so he have decided to gobble it up. Sigh. But to give u a gist on what i was angry about;

(1) Universitat and her new semestral regime is treating us like high school kiddos.
(2) I was compelled to donate 16 Singaporean Dollars to the Taxi Association.

There. So you can guess that the super long entry consisted of more vulgarities and sarcasm than the real story. I tell you if that gone-entry was submitted for an International Essay writing competition, conferm dah kener reject. But, if it was submitted for an International Angst Essay, i would have been crowned and mybe got that many2 bucks as prize money. *smiles*

Aku benci.!

emrdyl's arrival

Im back on Planet Earth.

isolde's

an extract of: foods that make us happy
by: obesidad.net

bananas
Stress and the lack of magnesium are so closely related.
foods rich in magnesium, like bananas, include:
walnuts, legumes, vegetables and wheat germ.

oranges
low lack of vitamin C, the nutriment which favors
the secretion of thee noradrenaline,
could provoke irritability and dejectedness.
two glasses of fresh orange juice are enough to
diminish nervousness, bad moods and depression.

walnuts
rich in selenium which are related to pleasant disposition.
other sources of selenium are:
fish, seafood, beef and whole-wheat bread.

chocolate
like many other foods sweet and rich in carbohydrates,
can have a soothing effect.
caffeine and other substances contained in chocolate
could act as stimulants.

turkey
rich in tyrosine aminoacid which heightens
the concentration of dopamine and noradrenaline .
increasing motivation and encouraging reflexes,
augmenting the organism resistance to stress.

hot peppers
capsicin stimulates the nervous terminals in the mouth
and causes a burning sensation and the brain segregates endorphins
which can produce temporary euphoria.

*******************************************

selected parts of: how foods can affect your mood
by: supermarketguru.com

Research has shown that dieters tend to
become depressed in about 2 weeks into a diet;
about the time their serotonin levels have dropped
due to a decreased carbohydrate intake.

Endorphins are believed to be "feel good" neurotransmitters.
Endorphin levels appear to be affected by dietary fat.
Eating fat-containing foods, like chocolate,
trigger the release of endorphins and lift a person's mood.
Other happy foods such as milk, chicken, bananas and
leafy green vegetables may produce pleasant feelings
because they stimulate the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine.

Folic acid deficiency has also been linked to depression in clinical studies.
Folic acid deficiency causes serotonin levels in the brain to decrease.
To easily combat the onset of depression caused by folic acid deficiency,
have a glass of orange juice.

*******************************************

give me all of the above, please. thank you.

i've been putting in effort so that i will be able to gain weight.
but the reverse has been happening to me.
everytime i get on the scale, i see the numbers shrinking.
friends who have not met me for quite some time
commented on how much more fragile i look now.

10th day of muharram.
i tried to do as many recommended ibadahs as possible.
especially to get rid of my sins.
since the day i saw my life plunging more than a week ago,
i felt most tested today.
having no more tears to cry certainly isn't helping.

seems like there's no short cut out of this dark tunnel.
but is the light at the end of it near?
i asked you that, but you couldn't answer me.
I AM TRULY SORRY.
please,
believe me.
my energy's draining away.
so please, believe me.
i am sorry.

to dearest readers,
i beg you, please, pray for me.
please. just once will be more than enough.
yes, i am holding on.
but i don't want to stay this way.

to darling emrdyl,
where are you?
i haven't heard from you and
i'm so worried about you.
please, don't tell me you're in hospital :(

isolde's

my first time.
no longer a virgin.
& i have no regrets.

my family was totally keen
on the idea.
& now, we are
loving each other more than ever.



my first time: watching a soccer match at the stadium.



after maghrib at jamiyah, we headed to the national stadium
for the match between singapore & malaysia.
it was on the malay papers that there will be
10 buses of malaysian supporters coming down to watch the match.
is that how 10 buses of people are supposed to amount to?
i kinda feel like the malaysian crowd's small though.

my family and i almost wanted to get up and leave when
the match's to be concluded by the number of goals during penalty.
we felt that there'll be slim chance of singapore winning
coz we find the malaysian goalkeeper pretty impressive and
we don't have much faith in ours.
but we decided to stay and boy, i'm glad we did!



as soon as the ball reached into the safe arms of our goalkeeper,
i could see people making gestures of having a heartattack
amidst the cheering, jumping, clapping,
paperplanes made of the red lions poster flying around,
umbrellas pointing up to the sky, ole-ole singing etc.

and then, on the way back home,
in the car,
i saw rain outside my window.
my throat went dry.
i felt nauseous.
the familiar heart-squeezed-hard-and-dry ache was back.
i let out a long, silent sigh.
took a few deep breaths and let my eyelids crash shut.
i opened my eyes knowing so well, that it'll take a while till
the next time i can smile and laugh because i mean it.



Allah is testing my faith. Allah wants me to spend more time on my ibadahs.
Allah loves me & all i gotta do is be patient & never stop believing in Him.
everything will be alright.
everything will be alright.
everything will be alright, insyaAllah.
for me & emrdyl. ameen.

emrdyl's

I Will be back...

Luv, Emrdyl.

emrdyl's

I miss this guy.

Irwan a.k.a Adeq Mok
He's such a cutie.
I like his rough (read: serak) voice.
He's only 3 but he's tuff.
He's my darling nephew.

I hope he will grow up to be a true gentleman.

Not like some scumbag who thinks he owns this borrowed world.

Please make Aunty Syasya proud.

_Ameen_

emrdyl's

Ich habe nicht von ihn für zwei tagen.

Ich bin traurig.

Es geht mir schelcht.

isolde's

i made my way to clementi's darussalam mosque
yesterday afternoon for zuhr prayers.
got to know another sister in islam while i was there.
"kak rose".
after she left, i spent some time reading the quran.
while returning the quran on the shelves,
my eyes fell on this book:



here are parts of the book which i really love:

"Can anyone walk over water without wetting his feet?" asked The Prophet. The Companions said, "No." The Prophet said, "such is the condition of those in the world, they are not safe from sins."

Be in the world like a traveller, or like a passer-by in transit.

"O Lord, grant to me the love of You; grant that i love those that love You; grant and i may do the deeds that win Your Love; make Your Love dearer to me than my family and wealth."

& the one that truly made me feel a whole lot better
since a week ago:

Hell is veiled in delights, and Heavens in hardships and miseries.

with the ache in my heart slowly diminishing, i travelled down to
nus to meet dear emrdyl to mug.
the rest of this post is going to be image-heavy.







yes, i had a gorgeous black sequinned scarf with me
as a sweet friend of mine had given it to me during lecture in the morning.
mya, if you're reading this: jazakillah ya ukhti.
& the same to your generous mama.





.....all on a simple tuesday afternoon of:

BELANGSUKAWA

emrdyl's

It was supposed to be a start of a new week.
But my monday turned out to be the worst of all days.
First up, I woke up 1 1/2 hours late and i realise that i have some tutorial stuff undone. (How's that for a undegrad? MALU LA SIOL!)
Second, freakingly (read: apek bus sengajer) the bus came 10 minutes later than the usual time. So kuranghajar and for the fact that its late, it made me fumed more because it was non-aircon.
Thirdly, this morning was super hot but suddenly when i got on the bloody bus and its start to move, Mr Wind just had to blow!! Blow my what?? Blow my tudung!!! Damn!! And i thought for a freaking start, i could at least reach school in my most elegant self! TSK!
I was super mad in the bus and i think throughout the whole 1 hour 15 minutes journey, i look like an angry shrek.
And so for that, i was late for my lecture. And because im the very punctual person and hate people who do not stick to punctuality, i decided not to go for it and drag myself to the freezing cold library to catch up on my missed readings that is!
But! This one cina fatty-muker-bopeng co-undergrad just had to sit behind me and make so much noises with his continuous sneezes!! VIRUS TERBANG LA BODOH! **grrrrr** Can you imagine how annoyed i got? To top it off, i haven't had any form of food or water consumed since the time i woke up! Sheesh! I was on the verge of turning into a Hulkest!! (read: Female Hulk)
Sigh.
My Monday is screwd. I dont think i benefit much from my Japanese Modern Religion lecture. Ntah haper dier bebual pon aku tak tahu.'Shinto, shigon, shogun or watever SHH'!
I only remember this name - Kukai. Because Kukai sounds like KooKaKa.; OKAE WATEVER.

Im outta here before i start crapping.

isolde's

going down, down, down.
my life & emrdyl's.
our hearts are just so heavy
but we can't cry or laugh it out.
people can try to understand how we feel
but none will ever get it right.

i need this:



let us browse through some of the matters discussed in it, shall we:

parts extracted from: Don't Be Sad
by Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni

Allah [Alone] Is Sufficient For Us

By leaving your affairs to Allah, by depending upon Him, by trusting in His promise, by being pleased with His decree, by thinking favourably of Him, and by waiting patiently for His help, you reap some of the greater fruits of faith and display the more prominent characteristics of the believer. When you incorporate these qualities into your character, you will be at peace concerning the future, because you will depend on your Lord for everything. As a result, you will find care, help, protection, and victory.

No person by himself is capable of fighting against the current of misfortune, nor can he fend off the blows of disaster when they strike. This is because man was created weak and fragile. However, when in times of difficulty, the believer places his dependency and trust with his Lord; he knows that all difficulties can be overcome.

“And put your trust in Allah if you are believers indeed.” Surah Al-Ma’idah – Ayah 23.

Being Sad Is Not Encouraged In Our Religion

“Be not sad, surely Allah is with us.” Surah At-Taubah - Ayah 40.

Sadness enervates the spirit’s will to action, paralysing the body into inactivity. The secret of this is that sadness prevents one from action instead of compelling one towards it. The heart benefits nothing through grief. The most beloved thing to the Devil is to make the worshipper sad in order to prevent him from continuing on his path.

Muslim must repel sadness, fighting it in any way that is permissible in our Religion. There is no real benefit in sadness;

the Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu Alayhi Wasalam sought refuge from it in the following supplication: “O’ Allah, I seek refuge in you from anxiety and grief.”

Grief is coupled with anxiety in this hadith. The difference between the two is that if a bad feeling that pervades the heart is related to what is going to happen in the future, then it is anxiety. And if the cause of this feeling concerns the past, then it is grief. Both of them weaken the heart, causing inactivity and a decrease in will power.

The last of the Prophets Sallalahu Alayhi Wasalam said: “Whatever befalls the believer in terms of anxiety, hardship or grief, Allah will make it an atonement for (some of) his sins.”

This indicates that grief is a trial with which the believer is afflicted, and through which some of his sins are atoned for. However, it does not indicate that grief is something to be sought after. If this were the ease, then the Prophet Sallalahu Alayhi Wasalam would have been the first to apply this principle. But he didn’t search for misery; rather; his face was always smiling, his heart was content, and he was continually joyful.

please pray together with/for me & emrdyl:
“O’ Allah, Your mercy do I hope for;
so do not leave me to myself not even for the blinking of an eye.
And make well for me all of my affairs.
There is none worthy of worship except You.”
“I seek forgiveness from Allah:
none is worthy of worship except Him.
He is the Ever-Living and the One who sustains and protects all that exists,
and I turn to Him in repentance.”
“There is none worthy of worship except You, and how perfect You are;
verily, I was among the wrongdoers.”
“O’ Allah. I seek refuge in you from anxiety and grief,
from inability and laziness, from avarice and cowardice,
from being engrossed by debt, and from being overpowered by men.”
“Allah (Alone), is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs (for us).”
ameen.

emrdyl's quizzies

Im bored to tears. (read: choose either one to describe my feelings)

I dunnoe why but suddenly im in the mood to do merepek quizzes. Well maybe it's just for the sake of letting it out.

So, here goes:

(1)

Your Stress Level is: 52%

You are somewhat prone to stress, especially when life gets hard. When things are good, you resist stressing over little problems. But when things are difficult, you tend to freak out and find it hard to calm down.

How Stressed Are You?

(2)

Your Hidden Talent

You are both very knowledgeable and creative. You tend to be full of new ideas and potential - big potential. Ideas like yours could change the world, if you build them. As long as you don't stop working on your dreams, you'll get there.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

(3)

Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Who Will Save Your Soul by Jewel

Who will save your soul when it comes to the flower Who will save your soul after all the lies that you told, boy Who will save your soul if you won't save your own?

What's Your 1996 Theme Song?

(4)

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

(5)

Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world. And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it! The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

What Color Is Your Aura?

To be continued...

emrdyl's

First & Foremost,
Happy Ma’al Hijrah to all Muslims around this planet earth!

Wow, I can’t believe I am in 1428. Which century is that again? It’s really great to be able to live in two time zones simultaneously. It makes you feel goodpleasantspecial. Really. Tak payah susah payah naik mesen yang nak fly back to the past tu. (What do you call that thing? 0_o )

Next,
Dogum Gunun Kutlu Olsun to Askim DYK. Seni Cok Seviyorum. :o)

Also,
Salam takziah to my granduncle whose soul god has taken yesterday night. May you rest in peace always.

On a lighter note,
I am so much in love with this song since weeks ago.


_Danke_

emrdyl's

Well, well, our dear Frau Isolde has gone on a hiatus so now i guess its my turn to be alone in this cyber haven of ours.

Sing with me people! *lonely.......i am so lonely.........* haha

Aniwae, i actually have no intention to blog properly. its just that my hands are itchy to type some words and i miss my cyber haven. Say "awwwwwwwwwwwwww" :0)

isolde's

...i was crying just to get you
now i'm dying coz
i let you do what you do down on me...



hey emrdyl. hey everyone...
i need a huge favour.
please pray for me, & my heart.
i belong to God. & the same goes for my heart.
i want it to always be perfectly together
for the Most Merciful.

anyway, if i choose to continue blogging now,
i've nothing for all of you coz
i'm not good at describing pain or sadness.

thanks for being so wonderful readers
and taggers. (:
please keep coming & tagging.

& emrdyl, i miss you too!
anything, just sms me.
daytime only yeah.
coz i don't wanna acknowledge my hp after sunset.
AND i don't think i'll be online coz
i'll be busy catching my tears.

emrdyl's

People whom i have informed about this blog of ours sorta asked me the same question(s).

(1) Why Emrdyl?
(2) What's the meaning of Emrdyl?
(3) How to pronounce Emrdyl?


Therefore, i will do the honour to answer. *ehem*

(1) Emrdyl is a name i created my own based on my 2 favourite boy and girl names; Emr & Dylia.
Thus, this leads us to

question number (2) In which Emrdyl has no meaning. hehe :0)

and you have to (3) pronounce it like this E (AIR) MR (MER like u pronounce MERayap. haha) DYL (dil).

So yeah, questions answered! *big smile*



btw, I MISS YOU ISOLDE!!!
I made this slideshow at MyFlashFetish.com.
Check out these MySpace Slideshows!

emrdyl's disappointment

Big Gerls Don't Cry.
This is our theme.
And i absolutely thank Fergie for singing this song.

Yes, Emrdyl is a big gerl and so she will not cry.


But, she'll do something else.


She weeps.

emrdyl's

Last thur'day, my baba did something which surprised me; coz i didn't noe about it until today.

He bought a motivational book; locally written and so just now while i was searching for my facial wash in my parents's washroom, i came across the book sitting nicely on top of his first aid box. Since im the kinda gerl who is often than ever curious, i took the book away and began reading. The book cover was captivating though; "15 Secrets to be a better student". Hmmmm...

So, i read and read and read and guess what? No, i did not became a better student after i closed the book. HAAAH. But, i was inspired. Truly, Madly, Deeply inspired. Well i shan't rant whatever i could remember here la, but what i have to say is, i believe that in matters of personal life, most of the time, it's best never to look back to the past.

To quote the author, he said this "If you want to move ahead in life, you have to forget the past and look forward towards your future". But of coz, this does not apply to National, International, World-Wide studies of history because if we take away history from a nation, what's left is just going to crumble down as her fellow people would just be contented to take things for granted. True fellow Singaporeans? haha I guess the statement that says "Singaporeans are too comfortable in their comfort zone" is really very true. Try throwing us in some Africanian Zones and i bet none of us will survive for a month. 0_0"

Then, i began to ponder about how the perception of issues of the past have made my life miserable. Sigh, i won't even want to go into that.

Anyhow, on a lighter note i have a very important term paper to do this semester and i swear my brain went dead for 5 seconds when i received that email. Well, as some of you might know that im reading a module entitled "Modern Japanese Religions"; and thus now i have to so call invent a Research Topic for my term paper.

Any ideas anyone?

If any of you kind souls out there are willing to throw in some ideas, don't be shy or malu-malu to drop me an email at esyad0504@yahoo.com.sg.

P/s: To those yang childish, jangan pulak korang complain aper aku buat ni at the department eh. TSK! Grow up la!

emrdyl's

(Part: Waheed)

I was blog-hopping yesterdae while supposedlly waiting for the waited, and i came across Xiaxue's blog and subsequently her multiply page in which something caught my eye -

You may be blogging, but is anyone reading? --> That's what she wrote.

And then something struck me; is the main/sole purpose of setting up a blog to draw attentions of people and to ask them to read every single word that the blogger typed about?

And then i wonder, me & isol are blogging, oh well this is OUR space and we perfectly are aware of people who come visit us from time to time..so does that makes us famous now coz SOMEBODY is reading?

Anyhow, i guess its all in the human nature right; to blog is to promote themselves in the cyberworld and hopping that their blog get noticed and then one day they will appear on tv; like the lucky Xiaxue. (See where blogging world has landed her?)

But do we have such a nature Isolde? I have the answer for us - No.

I remembered asking her or rather, we discussed on whether we want to tell people about this blog of ours and we reached a consensus that we would let some close frens know about it. But heck, i still don't find this idea quite suitable on my side at least.

So, you may ask me, did Emr got out off the wrong side of her bed this morning and thus this entry? No people, my bed has only got one side that would eventually lead me to the door. The other side nanti tunggu aku jadi casper baru bleh tembos tembok ok? :0)

(Part: Dos)

Aniwae, i went to watch a bit of tv thereafter i blog-hopped and i saw the Blog Tv advert; u noe the one Flying Dutchman is hosting. Then i went into a daynightdream.

What if (unfortunately) one day our blog got picked to be featured on TV maybe under some "Bestfrens who blog together" category? (Okae fine, i knoe this sounds ridiculous but i did mentioned the word Nightdream up there. Tsk!) Then how? Are they gonna filmed us both in my house and Isol's house? And then what? We are suppose to bore them (and you)correction: i think it should be "entertain") with our friendship story? haha.

Or will we be lured into our own deep-thought process wondering what to say; in which the tv crew will surely swear their breath out at us for making the programme silent-thougthts interactive?? haha
(Part: San)

And then, after all these crazy things, i thought about Isolde and Me. Well, firstly because it was so nice to see her again after quite a while (she came down to NUS to lunch with me at a fonemissed call!! how cool is that?). But most importantly, i remenisced about our friendship.

Some of you might ask, have Emrdyl and Isolde been bestfriends as long as they live? No.
Then some might ask again, have Emrdyl and Isolde been bestfriends since primary school? No.
Well actually, for real; we were not even half-way through a nice-memoried conversation way back in primary school. Besides the fact that both of us were prefects and have been in the same malay class in Pri 1, we have never eaten in the same benched-tables. And i guess if we were to be close then, it would seem odd. The only memory i had of her was when we both signed up for a Journalism Course back in Pri 5 and i swear that was the first time i ever talked to her a little, even hear her sing a little and i bet i still have a neoprint of that whole event.

Oh well lets put it this way; we never had the wildest dream that we would be thiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close.

So now, do you still dare to defy HIS orders after seeing HIS miracle right through us? HE brought us together; Two distinct individual with a somewhat connected circle of friends are knitted together to form the most wonderful friendship on this planet earth - at least I think so :0)
And i hope HE will let us remain this way...

isolde's

hmmm... why thank God it's friday?



1. i got punched hard in the stomach while on the way to school by some guy
who actually intended it as a joke on his friend. his friend managed to avoid it
and yes, the guy ended up hitting me.

i just stood rooted to the spot for quite sometime before someone shoved me
from the back and made me walk again.

the guy? he was too busy scolding his friend for causing him the embarassment.

2. my presentation for the budgeted profit in the test is wrong and
i forgot my serial number.

3. it was raining very heavily and there were mini-floods all over
orange grove road that i had no choice but to just walk through the
above-ankle deep dirty puddles.

so tell me, why thank God it's friday?

i must stop.
i apologize for i've been whining too much in this post and the previous

isolde's

welcome back emrdyl! *hugx* (:
samgana, mero german-speaking mitra (tsk, you made me dig up my nepali!).
everyone missed you!
anyway, was really glad to meet up with you for lunch just now.
thanks so much for lunch!
i owe you one (literally!). hehs.
i don't really have anything to blog, actually
while you were gone.
nothing much in my life (as always).
just school and home.

sometimes i wonder why do i even bother to try and blog.



i hate letting everyone know what i'm currently feeling.
i'm really trying not to say it here.
coz i'm pretty sure people come here to not read about
my selfish, nitty-gritty stuff like this.

oh yeah.
i saw the prelim exams timetable.
first up is unpredictable econs
followed by the feared maths around a week later.
killer stats a day after maths
accounting a few days after that
and lastly,
dreaded banking & finance on the next day.
starting on 28 february & ending on 9 march.

managerial accounting test tomorrow.
allocating overhead costs, apportioning it, budgetting,
contribution margin, break-even .................................
i doubt i have 75% of all that in my brain now.
am hoping for at least 50%
i really don't appreciate the fact that the test
is disrupting my mugging schedule.
i was steadily absorbing the maths and stats formulae and steps,
mind you, it's not easy for me coz i'm just a semi-numbers person,
& then, i had to jam on the emergency brake to make way for this test.

i must stop.
too many uninteresting stuff of mine mentioned in this post.

i've gotta get ready to pour out my feelings to The One
for He is always ready to listen.
Allah's always there for me, emrdyl, you... & everyone, yeah.

isolde's

i am currently...



....in this big blog.

emrdyl's on temporary hiatus, as mentioned in her last post below.
believe me, just as how she didn't disclose her reasons in the post,
she didn't inform me of the reasons why either when she smsed me earlier.

....in my very square & very small room.

not that it's a big deal anyway coz
i've stopped sharing a bedroom with my sister
ever since we moved here ard 6-7 years ago.
just that tonight i wish have
my sister
with me here talking, snacking, (try) to play the guitar etc.
or liyana
sleeping soundly on the mattress while i just watch her & listen to her breathe.
or kakak
coz i've always wanted to spend a night with her, talk about old times etc.
or emrdyl
we could be camwhoring away, share our opinions on stuff etc.
or my travelling clique cousins
who always have interesting stuff to tell about their colourful lifes.
or the girls from my sevens
coz i haven't met or even talked to them for just so long.
i guess i just feel like staying up all night with good company tonight.

....at this particular crossroad which i happen to be at, again.

these 2 options came to me again a few days ago.
not the first time.
not even the second time.
i don't know if this is just a test for me.
test how determined i am, whether i know what i am actually doing,
or if i trust the decision i've made for myself.
& i have a feeling even after i've decided, again, this time,
i'll come to this crossroad, again, in the near future.
it just feels like i'm forced to choose the other option though
i really don't want to.

yeah, alone. but i know He is always watching over me, always with me.
trust me, He is always with you (reading this) too. (:

isolde's

i've been thinking about them more and more these days.

everyday, i'll never fail to say a phrase or two that used to come out often
through those cute little lips of theirs. phrases like:
"how you know?... [insert sad facial expression] why i don't know?" - liyana
"no! don't kiss me! you kiss your boyfriend!!" - danial
"why am i small?... [again, insert sad face]" - liyana
"no, danial... the computer is spoilt already, cannot play...
*in hushed tone* kakak, we pretend only arh [insert cheeky face & wink]" - liyana
"liyana got boyfriend! his name's akmal! *pronouced A-KE-MAL* [insert big grin]" - danial
"there! kakak! your boyfriend! [points to the superman returns poster] - liyana & danial

no, i'm not a huge fan of superman/clark kent/smallville etc. it's just that these kids once asked me whether i have a boyfriend. and when i answered no, this happened:
"you don't have boyfriend? [insert worried face]" - liyana & danial
"i help you find one *in a very determined tone*" - liyana
"you want how? thin? big? how old? 34? 35? *in a concerned
& serious tone* [insert hand gestures]" - liyana
"look! superman! *excitedly* your boyfriend... *sing-song, teasing tone*" - danial
"oh yes... ok, that's your boyfriend *in agreement*" - liyana

& around 2 months ago, they left me for cold, cold korea.
& if they are not going to come down to singapore
till their daddy's job is done,
the next time i'll ever get to see them, is when
liyana is already 9 and danial, 6.
this year, 2007, liyana is turning 7 and danial, 4. both in april.


the last time i saw them

i still remember that morning. it was still very dark outside when a whole van of us made our way out to the airport. stopped by for fajr prayers at a mosque in pasir ris before continuing on our journey. liyana was quiet, yet she didn't mind having asked to pose for pictures with many of us. danial was just, very sleepy.

time to say goodbye came too soon. seeing my aunt and her sisters (one of which is my mum) and brothers cry so much and hugged so tightly, so dearly, made my hands turn cold, my throat dry, my voice quiver and my heart hurt. alot. when it was my turn to say goodbye to my aunt and hug her, i just let my tears flow and flow.

it was then liyana and danial's turn. after the rounds, danial simply went back to his daddy, wanting to be carried. just like everyone else, i know, he's just too young to know. he probably thinks that they're on vacation, as usual. but it was different for liyana. she started to walk a little further from the crowd, and soon after that, she broke down. "mummy.... i don't want to go korea.." i must say, that was my first heartbreak & it truly was unbearable.


i'm sure my msn contacts are familiar with this display picture.

we were all right about danial. he really did think that they were on vacation.
around a 2-3 weeks ago, he went "i want to go home..." while playing with
his toys, in his current home, in korea.
liyana's been strong. but she's been hinting to my aunt that they should come back
to singapore in april, during their school break, though my aunt had initially
planned to fly back here in july.

i miss you, my sweetie, my boy.
i miss you so much.
6 months to go, and i'll be right over...

will you, reading this, pray for me? please pray for me that everything goes smooth for me till i see them again?

emrdyl's arabic poem

I remembered Isolde asking me whether i still have this Arabic Poem because her friend wants it. So after much membongkar-ing, im proud to tell you babe that i have found it! =)

Here goes...,

Malay Version
. . tidak perlu mencari teman secantik Balqis
jika diri tak seindah Sulaiman
mengapa mengharap teman setampan Yusoff
jika kasih tak setulus Zulaikha
tak perlu diri menjadi seteguh Ibrahim
jika diri tak sekuat Sarah dan Hajar
jangan mengharap teman sebaik Fatimah
jika diri tidak sehebat Ali
mengapa mendamba teman seistimewa Khadijah
jika diri tidak sesempurna Rasulullah . .


English Version

There’s no need to find a companion as pretty as Balqis..
If you are not as charming as Sulaiman..
Why do u demand a companion as handsome as Yusoff?
If your love is not as sincere as Zulaikha..
There’s no need to be as determined as Ibrahim..
If you are not as strong willed as Sarah and Hajar..
Don’t expect a companion as good as Fatimah..
If you are not as great as Ali..
Why do you hope for a companion as special as Khadijah?
If you are not as perfect as Rasullullah..

Adios_

for isolde

Hey Isolde!

emrdyl's

It's 2007.
A brand new year with lotsa of resolutions on my part.
Let's see how well this year goes.

About yesterdae, let these pictures do the talking. :)

Enjoy!
I made this slideshow at MyFlashFetish.com.
Check out these MySpace Slideshows!

isolde's

yesterday...


picture courtesy of salambazar.com

'eidul adha mubarak!
to fellow brothers & sisters in Islam (:

i only went to 3 houses yesterday:
my paternal grandma's, my maternal grandma's
& lastly, my paternal grandad's.

this post shall be the usual-isolde style entry.
(read: image-heavy; all maternal side)



two of the many pictures we snapped while in the car



kakak, i love you







the usual travelling clique. when's the next, girls?



my two a's: abang & adik

& today...

picture courtesy of uawlocal6000.org

happy new year!

for myself, my family & friends,
emrdyl & her family,
& you reading this:
i pray that this year brings strength,
through difficulties we'll have to face;
i pray this year we'll be wiser,
through problems we'll have to solve;
i pray this year brings prosperity,
through hard work of our brains & brawns;
i pray we'll be more courageous,
through dangers we'll have to overcome;
i pray for love,
through troubled people we'll meet & help;
i pray this year brings favours to us,
through opportunities that will come by.

just like a year ago,
we will not get everything we want.
but i pray that again, this year,
we'll get everything we need.
ameen.